Recently, I received an email from one of the readers from our Free Email Course ‘Enough of Talking.” She has been suffering from depression quite for a long time.
When I enquired more about her problems, I could connect myself with her sufferings. I could sense her pain. I had been in the same situation many times before. At times, it was just impossible for me to overcome my anxiety. I struggled a lot, but fortunately, I made through it.
Generally, it happened when I was not mindful and expected too much from myself. Either I spent my time watching movies or watching nonsense YouTube videos. In short, I didn’t live the life I was committed.
The emotions I encountered during such emotional thunderstorms were:
- Eagerness to smoke
- Cravings for food and caffeine
- Comparing myself with others on social media
What steps did I take to overcome my anxiety and frustration? What bold actions made all the difference in me? What I stopped and started doing that helped me in bringing maximum results? Let’s look at the six easy steps to overcome day-to-day frustration and anxiety.
1. Come back
I’ve found that the main cause of stress is overthinking. It is too much for me to sleep, especially at night, with so much of thoughts running in the head.
It’s natural for a mind to go hither and thither. It’s like that child who cannot sit and keep disturbing everyone around him. Now here comes the mother and shout, “Come here!”
The child gets afraid of looking her mother angry. The mother shouts again, “Can’t you listen? Come here!”
The child now behaves well. The mother asks her to sit silently. So he does. He is calm and patient under the control of his mother.
I behave similarly when I lose control of my mind. I watch onto my thoughts and shout, “I got you. Come back… Do not run from me… Shut up and be quiet.”
I close my eyes, focus my attention on the middle of eyebrows and practice deep breathing. If my mind tries to get another thought, I shout again, “Silent! Can’t you listen?” I bring my focus back to the middle of eyebrows.
And that’s it. I could not remember the day when I had difficulty in having a sound slumber.
2. Remain away from the biggest illusion
I keep telling myself to not to scroll down the news feed on Instagram and Facebook.
First, the smiling, happy and care-free faces you look on social media are the biggest illusion. No one shares the reality.
Second, once you scroll down, you’ll keep on scrolling down until you screwed up your mind with all the negative news and videos that have been created with the sole purpose of getting likes and shares.
No, you don’t have to worry about the world. Worry about yourself first.
If we take care of ourselves and work hard to improve the quality of our life, the world naturally gets better.
3. No pain, no story
The more I get outside my comfort zone, the more stories I find for my write-ups. Moreover, you can never be grateful for a comfortable life.
When things get worst, you try your best to make everything all right, and in those moments you find what you are capable of doing.
I had not developed the habit of journaling and meditation if I’ve not faced anxiety for a longer time. My sufferings made me stronger and established a firm conviction that every problem has a solution.
When you are anxious, do not panic. Remind yourself that without pain, you never have the empowering stories to inspire the future-self.
Take one step at a time. You are anxious that you’re behind your goals? Do not sit idle. Otherwise, you’ll get trap in overthinking. Take one step, no matter how small.
As you work and get a little uncomfortable, you will be proud of yourself for facing the difficulties rather than staying in the comfort zone like a coward.
4. Avoid living up to everyone’s expectations
“Nakul, you are not a good writer. Why you do not write like other writers?” is what some people have reprimanded me.
Yes, I cannot write like others, nor I want to. I wanted to be a writer, and that’s it. I’m not here to live up to the expectations of others. I already expect many things from myself. I’m already packed up with the goals and giving my best. Now I can’t take someone else’s shit.
No matter what you do, you will always find someone complaining.
Self-love is the ultimate journey. You’ve to love yourself, regardless of what others think of you. Self-love is heaven in itself.
Disturbed by someone else’s views? Forgive him. Imagine the person sitting right in front of you and say, “I’m the best version of myself. I forgive you for your words.”
Forget these people and avoid seeing them again in your life. They are just energy drainers. The more you think about them, the more you create hell for yourself.
I cannot agree more to the American Novelist, Roderick Thorp, “We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too quickly into the trap of being our own worst enemies.”
5. Hold your fantasies
When I look at my past, I curse myself for taking my assumptions too seriously. If I had stopped predicting my future, I would have used the time in writing more blogs and books.
Often our mind thinks about the things that will never happen to us. It creates assumptions that always end up in creating more chaos.
And when the reader of our Email Course came up with her problems, I found one common link between them – Fantasy. She was fantasizing about the issues that were never a part of her life.
“I’m scared what if my boyfriend will break up. I cannot make through the semester exams. What my parents would think about me when they find that I failed the exams.” and on and on…
She was living in a fantasy. Her life was perfectly fine. What she and every one of us lack is the belief and the ability to make the best use of the moments present in our hands.
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